Getting on Your Feet Again After a Divorce

divorced parents

After the dust has settled in on your divorce agreement, what do you do now? There are a lot of reasons couples divorce. Each divorce is a story unto its own. Some have been married for years. Others had whirlwind romances. Some have children and have to go through a legal custody battle. Some don’t. Others are friends, and some have turned into mortal enemies. No matter what your divorce story is, one thing is for certain: it hurts and it’s traumatic.

Whether you live in other cities or Nassau County, a dependable divorce attorney is whom you call when you need legal representation. Now that the divorce paper has been finalized, you’re on your own. Your lawyer can’t protect you from your own thoughts anymore. There are no legal proceedings to attend or think about. Your mind will finally begin to see the situation for what it is: a separation.

You’re going to be separated from this person whom you planned to spend the rest of your life with. You will live the next decades of your life always wondering what could have been. But this is also the part where you can choose to look forward. You’re finally free from a relationship that has hurt you. It’s time to move on. How do you do that?

Forgive and Acknowledge

First, there should be an acknowledgment that moving on from a relationship isn’t going to be easy. How do you forget about the years you spent together, after all? There’s always going to be a struggle to forget. That’s why it’s important to learn to forgive. It is in forgiveness that you begin to walk away from the pain, betrayal, and disappointment. It sounds cliché, but it is truly the first step to healing. To forgive isn’t to dismiss the wrongs. It is the acceptance that some things are beyond your control.

divorce

Mourn

Even if you’re the one who initiated the divorce, it represents a loss. No one gets married and hopes to get divorced someday. You marry because you believe that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person and, hopefully, vice versa.

Allow yourself to feel the pain and sadness. You may feel remorse for the things that you did and didn’t do. Make room for these feelings. Don’t dwell on them, but acknowledge that they are real. Grief is the price that you have to pay for love. Something that you once loved is no longer with you, and that’s always going to be painful.

Reconnect

Part of divorcing a spouse is also losing this connection you once nurtured. Although it can’t be replaced, you might want to make room for more people. It’s time to reconnect with family and friends. You have been so busy fixing and working through your marriage that you may have lost touch with them. Make an effort to bond and spend time with them. Surround yourself with people who love you.

There’s always going to be a void in your life where this person once was. You don’t have to replace that void with anyone or anything. You can live with that void and still be happy. The important thing is to open yourself up to the possibility of love and happiness once more. Embrace it. Everyone deserves a second chance at life.

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