Headed to Splitsville: Fights that End Marriages

Conflict between man and woman sitting on either side of a wall

When one’s marriage is on the rocks, the inevitable question crops up: “Where did we go wrong?” Usually, the answer isn’t simple. Not only one issue rocked the boat. Instead, many arguments piled up over the years. What’s sadder is that the issues that usually end marriage spill over to life after divorce, creating a never-ending cycle of fights. If you disagree over these things, you better resolve them in the healthiest way possible. Otherwise, you’ll end up seeing your spouse in court or fighting them even after the split.

Money

It’s the root of all marriage-evil. It can take many forms. For instance, one spouse stashes away cash for themselves, not letting the other person know. This ultimately breaks trust. Another one is hiding debt. When one partner maxes out credit cards or gambles non-stop, it creates this nasty blame game, and the burden to pay strains the relationship. Don’t go thinking that breaking up with your husband will solve all your financial woes. In some states with community property laws, debts incurred during the marriage will be shouldered by both spouses. So even if your partner is the one who created the mess, you’re still in it.

Moreover, if your significant other has the habit of hiding away money, there’s a chance that they won’t be honest in the financial documents. So even before the mess becomes worse, have a transparent money talk with your spouse. Commit to honesty and responsibility in managing finances. But if you’re already contemplating divorce, talk to an experienced divorce attorney. In Salt Lake City, legal practitioners can help you in securing a just spousal and child support setup.

Parenting

Usually, the argument happens because one partner takes a more disciplined approach in taking care of the kids, while the other prefers the laid-back style. In this scenario, both judge each other. One thinks the other is too uptight, and then the other believes their partner is too lazy. Just like the money problems, this can affect your co-parenting later when you decide to get divorced. The negative comments about your parenting styles might be the subject of your trash talk against your ex. At the end of it all, no one’s more confused and frustrated than your very children. Arrive at a compromise regarding your parenting style. For instance, maybe on weekdays, you can be a little stricter when it comes to bedtime. But on weekends, you can give them a bit of leeway. The principle is that you need to have a united front in the eyes of your kids to avoid confusion.

Intimacy

Annoyed couple ignoring each other in the kitchen

When intimacy fades, you can only expect a downward spiral in marriage. You grow apart from each other. You suffer from self-esteem issues. And perhaps the most significant consequence is that you find intimacy elsewhere. You resort to infidelity, which further destroys all the good left in the relationship. And your divorce, too, should you go that route. If you waste your marital assets to pursue an affair, your property settlement may be affected.

Furthermore, your spouse might fight harder for sole custody if there’s another woman or man on your end. It will be a bitter fight. That said, before your marriage ends up in court, address intimacy issues. Visit a therapist, go on a retreat, and be more emotionally vulnerable.

Conflicts are inevitable in marriage. How you deal with disagreements is what matters. Discuss these issues openly in your relationship so that you can avoid the possibility and pitfalls of divorce.

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