Couples tie the knot with no intention of breaking their marriage vows. But sometimes, the relationship turns sour. Simple misunderstandings turn into huge, irreversible fights. There are also times when addiction, domestic abuse, and debts come into play.
Sometimes, when both parties no longer want to make the marriage work, the best course of action is to file a divorce. This is especially true when the relationship already turned sour and the kids are already being affected by the parent’s toxic setup.
One may think that the only things you will lose in a divorce are your spouse, money, your pets, or material things. There are also cases when your kids’ best interest is at stake. This is when hiring an experienced divorce lawyer makes sense.
But there are other things that might be affected because of your decision to divorce your spouse. Preparing yourself for what could come out of your divorce will make it easier on your part to move on.
You Could Lose Whom You Considered Family
Family members will take sides regardless of who is right and who is wrong. It could be your mother-in-law or sister-in-law who you’ve considered to be your rock during the marriage. It can also be your own family or a relative who thinks your decision does not make sense.
It does not even matter which side they are in. Sometimes, alliances are formed simply because they are blood-related. There are also times when those whom you considered family just don’t see things the way you do, thus making the decision that you are the bad guy in the story.
You Could Lose Some Friends
Some couples have a single network of friends. Others turned their backs on their old friends just to give their spouses assurance. But the danger lies when all your friendships were formed with your spouse involved.
Chances are, mutual friends will choose a side. They tend to side on which friends they have been friends with for a longer period. Other times, they might pick one side which they can take better advantage of.
This is why it is advisable that everyone find other friends outside of their spouse’s circle of friends. They can give you unbiased advice and help you make better decisions instead of simply siding with your spouse. In case the marriage won’t work, you have a different set of friends that will understand your situation.
You Could Lose Your Self-Esteem and Confidence
The fact that the relationship did not work and you made the wrong decision when picking your spouse can take a toll on your confidence and self-esteem. You might start questioning your ability to make sound decisions. You might even start blaming yourself for staying this long and for not doing anything earlier.
When you lose your confidence, you might find it hard to trust anyone else again. Losing your self-esteem can result in constant criticism, anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, or even guilt. It is important that you recognize when you need help and to find someone who can support you during these trying times.
You Could Lose Experience Related to Share Memories
Some families created traditions unique to their families. Some people celebrate the holidays in different vacation spots. Others take monthly visits to long-distance family members.
You might miss the memories you’ve built over the years. It is easy to feel like you are missing a big part of your life since those traditions are now gone. Even if you are able to continue such traditions with the kids, not being able to do this as a family can be a painful reminder of your loss.
You Could Lose Time and Precious Moments With Your Kids
If you are unable to get full custody of the kids, you will have to split their time with your ex. This could mean dividing the holidays and deciding who gets to keep the kids home. The family might even have to be together in awkward silence as you share special days with the kids and your ex.
The minute your kids leave you even if it is just to stay with their other parent on weekends can make you heartache. There is also the fact that you will start worrying about their health, safety, and happiness while they are away. It is only when the setup starts will you experience the loss of time with your kids, and probably your ex.
Divorce is never a decision that can be made in a single day. This is why you should ask yourself many questions before filing. You are not only going to lose a spouse and possibly some of your things and money. You can also miss time with your kids, the memories, the people you considered as friends and family, and even your ex. Preparing yourself for the worst and hoping for the best is the best thing you can do to go through the transition.